Monday, February 16, 2009


So far there is only one thing I wish I had done differently with Esme. (I have no doubt this will change in the years to come)
Minutes after she was born the nurse put her in my arms/on my stomach and immediately started nursing. She nursed to sleep that first night just hours after she was born and nursing has been her favorite thing ever since. If I could remember them, I'm sure I could count on one hand the instances in her infanthood when Esme fell asleep without nursing (stroller and car seat rides aside).
Now she HAS TO nurse to sleep every night and for most naps (see stroller, car seat comment above). I lay there lamenting the loss of any time I may have had to myself, as every moment it takes her to fall asleep ticks by v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y.
So when Esme and I came home from Minnesota where I had had a small taste of time to myself I announced that we were beginning a night time routine, only one nap during the day and an early bed time! "Why would we schedule her" Andrew asked "We've never scheduled her?"
"Because otherwise I might die" this was the only clear answer in my mind.
I know I should be loving these quiet moments where my child wants only me...there will be so many where she wants anyone but me (I'm assured by all) but I don't love them, because when you spend 3-4 hours a day just getting your child to sleep the list of things you could be accomplishing with that time becomes huge and un-ignorable.
Like today for instance...with two hours of personal assistant work looming in front of me (keeping me from the sewing projects and yogurt making I really want to be doing) I spent a full hour laying next to a screaming, exhausted child. She finallly slept for 10 minutes, I then spent 30 minutes trying to get out of bed without waking her, failed attempts every time. I then had to give up and realize she would just go without a nap today. This happens at least once a week. On days not as cold as today I will sometimes just haul her into the stroller, find a quick errand to run and pray that I can get her up the stairs and into the building without waking her after she has inevitably fallen asleep on our journey. But somedays I'm just not up for all that. Today was one of them. So two rounds of Word World later (I'm getting awfully sick of can, can, can you build a new word from these letters...) I got my work done...we played and YES!!! Time to begin the bedtime routine!
What I'm most amazed about is how quickly Esme has figured out this routine...we've probably  had it in place off and on for two weeks...we've had it down for a total of five nights and we took a two night break in the middle of them when we went to NY. But tonight after eating she announced "ah duh" and promptly said "Bah" (bath) the bathtub she announced "ah duh" and I said what should we do next...she sad "teeh" (teeth) we brushed her teeth and went into the bedroom (she still learning lotion which came next) then we came downstairs and tucked in baby and go go she has added the step of giving them nigh nigh kisses, then we go upstairs and read two books. 
In the first book they talk about hanging up their towels and Esme always points to where we hung her towel on the door, then they put on their pajamas and Esme points to her pajamas, last thing before turning out the light we read Good Night Moon, this is her favorite because of the "maw-maws" then she kisses bunny good night on the last page and lays down to get nigh-nigh milk.
and at 6:30 I'm cooking my dinner and writing this blog entry.
I love this routine!!!
Now we just have to figure out a naptime routine...any ideas??

Monday, February 9, 2009

Esme and the dude

Esme has been focusing on trying to find something to call Francis for a little while now.
She can say Clare but can't quite get Francis.
On Friday she heard me keep calling Francis "good boy" and she went with that over the weekend but today she got so excited.
In bed this morning Andrew got exasperated with Francis and said "Du-ude" Esme thought that was the funniest thing she'd ever heard.
She's been walking around the house all day saying "dood" every time she sees Francis.
I think he officially has a new name!

Sunday, February 8, 2009


I don't often write much about church but today I was inspired twice in church to read my bible more...that is a rare inspiration for me and I also feel like it's a bit of a rare inspiration for most people to get from an episcopal church (I say this because lately I've noticed all the people carrying their covered bibles to the Presbyterian church I have to pass at the end of our block on my way to our church, without my bible, where no one will have brought their's just not an episcopal thing as far as I can tell) Anyway.
Our adult forum this morning was about Paul's teachings/prophesy on the Jews based on Romans 9-11. The woman leading is a professor from Princeton and it was interesting to hear what she had to say about context and language and the way people interpret the bible, it made me think back to classes in college where I used to have to study and write papers about passages. It made me want to remember more of what I've read about the bible and it made me want to understand the wider context better, which would require reading (a great amount of reading I think).
But all of that is nothing compared to how this morning's gospel reading made me want read the bible; were you in church today?
The gospel was Jesus healing a sick woman who immediately gets up to serve all the men in the house. My friend Sara and I turned to each other with thinly veiled looks of skepticism...this is not Jesus like behavior. I could just hear all the men..."What there is no woman in the house to serve us?" But wait...we've got Jesus "Never fear, I'll heal her" and the second she's well she's up and serving all of them?  All I could think was this is not the Jesus I know...not the Jesus who is kind to those others despise...the Jesus who hung out with women, the kind of women other men paid to be with...
Somehow I did not remember ever hearing this particular story, I cannot imagine I would have forgotten it or missed the connection.
Anyway it made me think, maybe there are other stories I'm not remember correctly or didn't hear properly, or maybe there's more to the story and I just don't know it because it wasn't part of this morning reading, but if I were reading on my own as well...well.
Now to find the time... 

Saturday, February 7, 2009

jabber and projects

I completed a draft that ended up being posted after this posting even though it really is scroll down, I promise it's worth it.