milk made mama

The Princess Ball

2011-03-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

I finally got the pictures downloaded from our trip to the princess ball.
This was a fundraiser for childhood cancer that we attended. My mother-in-law's retreat center donated a mother daughter canoe trip as the grand prize so we got to be there to draw the winning name.

Luckily there is no photographic evidence of my lack of shoes, I'm telling you wool socks are totally the next thing in princess wear....

The Princess Eats:

A sampling of what photos look like when Esme takes them:

Sure, this one she gets right on:

The two princesses (I'm not really sure why one of us looks a little grumpy...):

This next pictures was far and away Esme's favorite part of the day.
Three Ballerina's came from the Minnesota Ballet and danced for all the little girls. Esme sat right on the floor in the front row and I thought she might explode from sheer excitement. I really didn't think she could get any more excited when all of a sudden they started dancing to "Some Day my Prince Will Come". Esme LOOOVES Sleeping Beauty. I honestly thought she might possibly shoot through the roof with excitement when she turned around to me and said "MAma...(it was half whispered she was so excited) They're dancing to Princess Aurora's song!"

Here's our little princess ballerina so excited (can't you see the excitement?) to be posing with the real thing.

The whole day was so fun and exciting that Esme fell asleep exactly two blocks away from the ballroom and slept the entire 2+ hours home.
It's good to be a princess!

forever and a day

2010-12-08T08:08:00.001-08:00

Well...I know it's been forever since I've gotten my act together in the blogosphere....but here we are!

This move has been a bit more...everything...than I imagined.
A big adjustment to be apart as a family, and then back together again.
A big adjustment to move so many times -- have Esme move into her own bed and then into her own room for the very first time.
A big adjustment to leave the city
A big adjustment for me to have a job that has shifted so many times in so few months (leaving me a bit unsure of my abilities and self)
A big adjustment to have no tv or internet (although we still watch way too many netflix)

So it's been a lot. I think we're adjusting, I'm just not used to a slow adjustment, you know more of a jump in with both feet person so it feels kind of weird to still be finding my way and to feel so unsure about myself.

On the bright side Esme is adjusting beautifully....no hesitation there. She knows who she is (right down to the fact that she is "dying" for a princess gown for Christmas). She knows how valuable she is (evidenced by the church thanksgiving service where she announced to all she was thankful for herself). She has friends, is a good sharer, loves dance class, can't wait to go see the Nutcracker in two weeks, loves her new doll house -- almost as much as she loves her new Barbie (much to her father's chagrin).

Here's some photos of what we've been up to...birthdays, halloween and all that...enjoy!
and I promise I'll try to drop by more often!

PS if you have any good visit pics e mail me and I'll post them...I'm the worst picture taker EVER!!!!

Grandpa Ken's Visit (of which I'm hoping Grandpa Ken got better pictures)

Two cold swimmers

More presents...good thing she had help!

The super exciting new talking Dora Doll

(which we hear for at least 15 minutes every night at bed time!)

Esme's third birthday! (I know there are better pictures than these out there....share the love people :) )

My favorite present opening response:
breathless with excitement Esme says: "It's a...box!!"
no sarcasm, all joy

Just to show Auntie Melanie the beautifully wrapped birthday presents :)

Raspberry Torte (or Raspberry Torrit as Esme insists on calling her)

All the little girls got princess crowns (even some of the big girls joined in)

Who doesn't want to run around in their swimsuit when it's snowing out?

Some State Fair Pics....Esme loved the rides!

The Swings

This was totally Esme's "are you sure we're doing okay here Auntie Shooz?" face

after an encouraging grin from me Auntie Shooz passed it on and Esme decided "the scary ride" was perhaps fun after all!Worlds largest corndog...don't worry she had help :)

Esme & Daddy on the Carousel

Two happy piggys in the dairy barn

Cowboy Boots and Abbreviations

2010-05-16T16:23:00.001-07:00

Grandpa Ken sent Esme some new cowboy boots last week and they are definitely the most exciting thing since sliced bread!

I'm not going to lie I was a bit skeptical when I saw the the heels light up every time she takes a step...but in a bizarre twist, it's my favorite part. I can't get over how cute it is. Plus every time someone compliments her on her boots she does this great little dance to show them how they light up, it's really too cute!

Had he was also sending a hat I would have made sure he knew she has been blessed with an Ashcroft head...so alas we will have to donate the hat to the dress up box at day care and the younger kids (or even the ones Esme's age with a normal sized head) can enjoy wearing the cute hat...

Esme has also been very into shortening words lately and I thought I better share a few of her favorite abbreviations from the past week... (Imagine a very reassuring know-it-all tone for all these statements)

"That's the kitty mom...sometimes I call her kid"

"It's so rainy, look at the puddles...I just call them pud"

"Babka are we going to watch Up? Is it time for the movie? I call it the move, let's watch the move!"

daycare, wilderness & bubble beards...

2010-05-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

Esme had her first day of day care today. Of course since I warned her day care provider (Lisa) of Esme’s extreme aversion to naps she started off her daycare career with a 2 hour plus nap including a glare/rollover at Lisa when she finally came in and turned on the light.

Some of you will not be shocked to learn that the little 2 year old boy who only has eyes for the most popular boy (Ray-Ray) had a, perhaps momentary, but shocking nonetheless, shift in loyalties when he spent a good portion of his day following Esme around. When I picked Esme up I said it’s time to say goodbye to your friends and she promptly responded, “I better give hugs and kisses!”

We did Ya Ya proud today when I picked Esme up early to take her to the pool for a “swim lesson”. I think I did alright for my first lesson, we did a lot of kicking with a kickboard and practiced big kicks / big arms over and over again. I think my favorite part was when Esme figured out she could get some momentum going by using her arms as a sort of gerbil wheel right in front of her, it looked hilarious but worked shockingly well!

Esme has also been spending quite a bit of time with her Babka, they went canoeing and have even written their own version of the wheels on the bus…the waves on the beach, we expect their first solid gold hit is already on it’s way!

Esme proudly pointed out the gold finch at the bird feeder this morning and saw her first two deer in the front yard this evening…she is truly becoming a wilderness explorer.

Esme has become quite the fan of the bubble beard and bubble hat during her nightly bath, everyone has to be called in to see her magnificent creations which she keeps on as long as possible.

You'll be glad to see Esme is still practicing her photography...

As well as working hard to ensure all those rocks finally make it back into the lake.

Lastly Esme exploring the labrynth on a rainy day...

We miss you all!

sled dog puppies

2010-05-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

I know I still owe you all the swimming videos I promised...this moving thing was perhaps a bit more intense than i realize... I have to get all the electronics up and running.

In the meantime, what could be better than a few puppy/baby pictures?

I'm sneaking in one little hiking pic to let you know we are doing something up here...

And now for the real fun...

Don't worry, we didn't bring any home :)

If you drug

2010-04-20T06:24:00.000-07:00

Esme's been learning lately how to use a camera, mostly she likes to take pictures of herself. She doesn't believe us that you're supposed to turn the camera around... here are some of her best shots:

I have to share a quick funny story... proof that either my parenting style is a bit too unorthodox or I shouldn't have seen so many of those "this is your brain on drugs" commercials as a child...So we've all been taught that it's never too early to talk to your kids about drugs right?

Yesterday we were all in the car when this commercial about a home drug test came on the radio. I was so sad thinking about the concept that I said to Esme: "honey, if you're ever thinking about doing drugs just tell mama first okay?"

Esme thought for a moment and said: "like when I have to go pee pee, just tell mama

first, then we go pee pee."

"Exactly" I responded, "You're so smart, it's just like pee pee, just tell me first s

o we can talk about it"

"Okay" she said, "If I drug I will tell you first, you, or dada, or yaya..."

Then a couple hours later on the way home Esme chimed in by saying "Mama, you should not drug." Okay I said, no drugs for me!

Here are the kids at our church before their easter egg hunt

Esme with her Easter Basket

Happy Easter Season!!

rushing water

2010-03-29T07:20:00.001-07:00

This time of year, the rivers come alive from the spring snow melt. They roar and kick up spray.

It's fun to walk up the trails and see the water running so hard, rushing on its way to the lake. As you go along the big lake you can see brown where the rivers come in.

Spring thaw is turbulent and wild. I have been thinking about that: how when I allow my emotions to thaw, I may find them a little wild and crazy, but that is what leads to growth--in new spring life and in growth in my depth of myself as a person,. That's what Easter is all about!

Our Father

2010-03-04T18:07:00.000-08:00

I hope you all can hear this better than I could on my computer.
Out of the blue Esme has just started saying the Lord's Prayer (as if we needed confirmation that she hears absolutely everything...)
Andrew got it on video as she said it before bed tonight.
Sorry about the buzz as Andrew's phone got an e mail in the middle, he says he can't help that he's so popular :)

So at church we also have this kid friendly mass kit that we use in Sunday School. It's everything a priest uses for mass...thurible, corporal, fake wafers, everything you can imagine. Anyway I just received an update that yesterday at playgroup Esme got out the mass kit, went around and gave communion to each child "the body of Christ, the bread of heaven...the body of Christ, the bread of heaven..." Even the Aidan the very Jewish child received his bread as he was swinging the thurible around the room.
That's my little evangelist :)
Have a great weekend!!

That's Hillarious

2010-02-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

Esme and I had some great girl time this last Saturday evening. We were hanging out at home and Yaya and Daddy were napping (each in their own room, just to be clear :) ) so Esme and I decided to take a stroll down to Anthropologie and do some window shopping.
We had a great time. Everyone commented on what a great little shopper Esme was and she had a blast going up and down in the elevator with a chair inside.
After Anthropologie we decided we weren't ready to go home yet and continued our shopping expedition at H&M as we were leaving Esme spotted the heels on one of their mannequins. "What are those" she asked? "High Heels" I said..."High Heels" she repeated very carefully..."Can I have a pair?" "No I said, babies don't wear high heels, they're what ladies wear on dates...or some people wear them to work...not Mama, but some people."
Esme thought about this for a few seconds. "Daddy does" she says...stifling a giggle (and thinking they would go well with his work dresses) I said "No daddy does not wear heels to work."
Esme then spent the next few blocks very thoughtfully repeating high heels over and over again eventually she asked me why daddy doesn't wear heels..."Well only ladies wear high heels I said, not men." "high heels" she said, "I don't like this word."
Now if that's not intuitive genius I don't know what is.
Later on during that same walk Esme proudly announced that she was sticking her tongue out at me. So I did the only logical thing and stuck mine out right back...just as we got home we were both sticking our tongues out at the same time "We're sticking our tongues out together...that's hillarious" Esme said.
It has to be one of the cutest things I've ever heard.

In other news...I was inspired to dig my sewing machine out the other night. (serious digging it was, of the order that almost required Mike Mulligan and his steam shovel Maryanne) Anyway. I took apart the pillowcase that came with Esme's new duvet cover and made it into a very rudimentary carrier for Esme's baby...here's documentation of a very sleepy Esme wearing her baby for the first time. More to come I hope!!!

quotes of the night

2010-02-15T17:47:00.001-08:00

Andrew was trying to convince Esme she wanted to grow up in a cabin in the woods like Bode Miller...

"We could build an outhouse"

"Or snow men" Esme chimed in without missing a beat

Yaya and I are on the snowmen bus!!

Esme and I were going back and forth saying

"I love you" -- "I love you too" -- "I love you" -- "I love you most" --

"I love you infinity" I said

"I love you in a Phillies fan" replied Esme

She says that means we can go to Costco...

My little piggys...

2010-02-07T15:30:00.000-08:00

Esme just had her first pig tails...
she went to bed that night, reached back and said "Mama, where are my piggys?She also woke up this morning and proclaimed that she was going to have a chocolate party.
Once I talked her into inviting humans (instead of only her Word World friends) she concocted a very select guest list after church and we all enjoyed Esme's first turn at hostessing which included carrying the plates of cookies out to the table herself and feeding people cookies by hand if they didn't seem to be eating enough. What more could anyone ask of a hostess?

Esmeisms

2009-12-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

Esme has been coming up with some amazing statements lately.
I had to take a moment to share some of my favorites:

"When I was little" she spent all day yesterday saying...when you were little what we kept asking stifling our giggles...
"when I was little I used to cuddle" she finally said

Last night as Andrew put pajamas on an exhausted Esme:
"what the hell is going on here?"

"You would say no Mama"

"This is my pretty necklace, I will be gentle, I will not touch it" " I will not let Jesus touch it"

While standing at the door with her dress up suitcase packed:
Andrew: "where are you going Esme?"
Esme: "I'm going on a date"
Andrew: "where are you going on your date?"
Esme: "We're going for pizza"
Jennye: "Who are you going on your date with?"
Esme: "Elli"
Yaya: "Are you sure you only want pizza? What about ice cream?"
Esme: As her eyes light up and almost pop out of her head "Ice cream, ice cream, we will have pizza and ice cream."
Andrew: Why are you taking that bag? are you staying all night with Elli?"
Esme: "yes"
Andrew then called the nunnery :)

During the procession at midnight mass
"Look mama baby Jesus is sleeping in his big girl bed"

Esme has been singing two songs that make me giggle.
She is very fond of the Itsy Ditsy spider and Little Bunty Foo Foo who in her version is chastised by the 'blue fairy'.

More to come I'm sure.
Merry Christmas everyone!

it's the little things!

2009-10-16T17:21:00.001-07:00

Esme went pee pee on her big girl potty....
she told me before she went,
we walked to the potty,
she told me there was peepee in the potty,
we poured it out in the toilet,
she got to flush (one of her favorite things),
she got M & M's (another one of her favorite things),

I think we may be on our way!
Hooray!!!

about time!

2009-10-10T17:16:00.000-07:00

This picture pretty much sums up how I feel these days...and it's pretty crazy to see Esme playing so hard that she exhausts herself by the end of the day as well.

I started back to work full time about a month ago and boy has it been full time!
I've been so busy I haven't had time to do anything and sadly blogging has fallen to the very bottom of the list.
It finally feels like my feet are back under me. I didn't go into work on my day off this past week (I mean the one aside from Sunday which isn't really a day off anyway) and I take that as a sign that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I'm getting things at my store under control and the 55ish hour weeks may be coming to an end. Hallelujah!!!

So anyway on to bigger and better things...
Even with me working full time we've been doing our best to fit in some fun things, mostly some fun people....so here's a little bit about what we've been doing:

Grandpa Ernie and Grandma Bette came to visit at the beginning of September and we had a great time, they were hear for a wedding and we fit in some time playing and eating great food!
Auntie Anna and Uncle Steve came to hang out the same weekend and had a great time taking care of Esme while we all went to the wedding reception.

In August my best friend Sara, her partner Kathleen and their newborn baby girl Ingrid moved to New Jersey, only about and hour and a half from us. Esme and I took a Friday and drove up to the visit them, meet Ingrid, and make an unexpected trip to the beach. Esme loved the water and sand and had a wonderful afternoon. My favorite part was that every time a wave would come in the motion would throw off her balance so much that she would completely fall over, you could see her trying to figure out how to compensate for the motion but just end up completely baffled as to what she should do, hillarious!!
My other favorite part of the day was our trip to the ice cream shop.
As soon as we set foot inside Esme began insisting I give her pennies "pennies, pennies, pennies, pennies" repeated in an insistent, half whine, at every increasing decibels was her method of choice. As soon as I figured out she was asking me to give her pennies, something she's never done before, I fished one out of my wallet. Esme walked over to the ice cream case and raised her hand as high above her head as she could toward the woman working behind the counter, "here go lady" she said "ice cream". All three of us laughed so hard as I reassured her it was only our down payment and Esme went on to eat approximately two ice cream cones, good thing I had a few more pennies.

Esme insisting to Sara that she doesn't need help in the water

A happier moment!

Too much ice cream, sun, and waves = a peaceful ride home for Mama!

We were lucky enough this past weekend to spend Sunday in Manhattan meeting up with Auntie Mary, Uncle Mike, and Auntie Becky Uncle Shawn and Cousin Cameron who were in town for a wedding. We all met up at Central Park and let the kids play at one of the playgrounds then we had dinner and took a spin on the ferris wheel inside Toys R Us at Times Square.
Of course I realized about an hour into our day that it had been approximately 77 pictures since I had downloaded them onto our computer and I ran out of room to take anymore...so as usual there is a lack of pictures, but here are the couple I do have!

Playing with bubbles in Central Park
this bubble gun we bought on the sidewalk says
"I'm your lovely new friend take me home"

This picture cracks me up. Esme recently started into the phase where she insists on wearing only what she chooses. One Sunday for Church she insisted she must wear these green polka dotted bloomers paired with this blue striped shirt (the only redeeming factor here is that the shirt has green piping around the collar and sleeves) and the best part was that as soon as she got the clothes on her face lit up like a light bulb and she said "Purple shoes".
I mean really who wouldn't wear their purple shoes with this outfit?

another video

2009-08-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

So after I posted the last video I got some requests for more.
Esme was being pretty cute tonight so I tried to catch it on film.
Sorry it's so dark, I was scared if I flipped the light on we'd lose the moment so I just went with it.

Enjoy!!

Twinkle Twinkle in a box

2009-08-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Esme carried a box in from the kitchen...lifted it up on the couch and climbed in.
Seemed like a perfect place for singing a song...Note the change halfway through from the traditional twinkle twinkle to Esme's favorite "twinkle TC" an ode to her favorite mascot :)

Please note the Daddy styled hair:

vacation is truly over

2009-08-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Esme and Dada share an introspective moment in the swing

Well... it's about time I wrapped up the stories of our travels to Minnesota so I can do a better job moving us on with everyday life here in Philly.

The second part of our trip we were in the Twin Cities with Grandpa and Grandma Bette.
We had a great time with playdates this whole vacation. We met two new friends in Grand Marais, Leiv & Ella who Esme still talks about. And while we were in the Twin Cities we had two playdates with a friend from college who has two little boys. (If I were not the world's worst picture taker I would have documented proof of these playdates but alas and alack...)

Here's a naked Esme playing "in" the sprinkler
(this mostly involved thwarting the sprinkler from actually hitting her body in any way)

Esme watching Word World and cuddling TC

This picture requires the full story... TC is the Minnesota Twins mascot. We met him at the 30th Anniversary Party for El Burrito Mercado (A Mexican Market) in St. Paul. Esme was smitten the moment she saw him and spent the whole afternoon watching TC longingly and pointing. The hillarious part of these baby crushes is that she, of course, won't go near TC.
She did however spend the next week cuddling, kissing and patting the autographed TC picture that she carried everywhere with her!!

Grandpa and Grandma Bette bought Esme a stuffed TC on our way to the airport that has now replaced the rather frayed picture (thank goodness)!!

This is the super yummy corn from El Burrito Mercado
Butter, the Mexican version of sour cream, Cotija cheese and cayenne --A-Mazing!!!

Esme made herself a cozy little bed in the window seat

We went to the Minnesota Zoo, which has a working family farm,
where the goats were way too scary to actually touch but were lots of fun to visit!

Another zoo picture (not sure why some of these are so small)
Notice Grandpa Ernie the explorer in the corner there...
"Dr. Livingston I presume?"

Just thought you'd all appreciate that scrunch face faze has not yet passed!

Susannah and I spent the obligatory day shopping for clothes, her asking for my help and then refusing to buy anything I recommend...you know just like we were actually sisters :)
Luckily Grandma Bette came along and leant a hand with Esme...she also snapped these great pictures as Esme discovered the mannequins inside Old Navy. It was truly hillarious to see her decide these were her new best friends. The fascination carried on through the next few stores...results documented below...

I had to save this for last as it is my favorite picture.
You can just tell Esme feels so sad for her new headless friend...

a purse and a big ball of pot-pot

2009-07-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more pictures from our time in Grand Marais...and a few more stories to accompany them.

One of Esme's favorite things about Babka's house is the Meow Meow (pronounced more like wow wow but with an "m") Willa...Esme chases her all over the house, under chairs, behind couches, the whole time chanting "hold, hold, hold" this picture is one of the rare times I convinced Esme to sit properly and hold Willa in her lap. A successful venture for all as Esme especially loves it when Willa "kicks" her tail as she pets her.

Esme and Dada strolling the metropolis of Grand Marais

We visited the family farm where Babka and Nana Coo get their milk and butter and things...here are the pigs.

And here's Esme very sure she has no desire to touch the pigs

I think this next picture is one of my favorite. It's important to the story to know, if you don't already, that Esme calls poop "pot-pot" this was her own invention and she sticks with it!

Also, while we've been on vacation Esme has started pronouncing words fully and putting 2-3 words together more often than not. One of her favorite things is to add "big" before everything.

Babka and Nana Coo are faithful composters and have been trying this new (to me anyway) method that involves putting all of their organic material in a big plastic ball that they can then move around their yard to facilitate the breakdown of everything inside.

One day Babka, Esme and Auntie Shooz (Susannah) went out to put the compost into the ball...spying it from across the yard Esme immediately called out "Big Ball"...yes it sure is. As soon as they opened the big ball, something none of Esme's balls do, she got very excited and peeked right inside. Upon spying, and more importantly smelling, the brown decompsing matter inside Esme looked up at her Auntie Shooz and said quizzically pot-pot? I guess so she said...it sure does look like pot-pot.

We've since established that it is very silly that Babka and Nana Coo keep a big ball of pot-pot in their front yard...but to each her own right?

And here in the distance you can see the big ball of pot-pot

Our little Scandahoovian trying on hats at the Duluth Pack store in, well, Duluth :)

Most importantly Esme with her new purse...

brought to you By Auntie Shooz and Uncle Chris.

Esme loves her purse as she can perfectly carry her cell phone, keys and little baby

everywhere she goes, she never leaves home without it!

The Great North Woods

2009-07-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

We've been visiting Andrew's Mom (Babka) and her partner Suzanne (Nana Coo) in Grand Marais, MN.

Esme's favorite pastime has been sitting on the shore of Lake Superior throwing rocks. She loves the splash when they hit the water, she loves dropping them down from on top of her head, she loves sneaking as close as she can to the water then scurying back when a little wave rolls in.

Esme could spend hours down at the water. When she gets up in the morning she waves hello to the "leak" and the moment she first saw the Lake on our drive up her she asked for a "dip, dip" (upon questioning I discovered that it was herself she wanted to dip, dip in the Lake).

We spent one afternoon (or an hour of it anyway) going on Esme's first canoe ride. She did a great job sitting still in the canoe. On our return trip she got a bit antsy and kept asking to touch, splash, and dip-dip. I had to explain that we can only touch, splash, and dip-dip in the water when we can see the bottom. Of course we immediately hit an oddly shallow patch pretty far from the shore and Esme had to point out to the lake and say "Bottom"...damn smart kid :}

Andrew's Mom makes fabulous bread so my goal for my time here was to learn how to bake bread. We've baked several loaves and Esme has been a great help she loves to stir and has even been making us stone soup in the living room every night.

We also spent one afternoon playing in the small waterfalls on the Kadunce River just North of Babka's house.

Pre-baby the family used to hike up the Kadunce and up the falls every summer. I think it may take another year or two before Esme can hike up the falls with us but she loved playing in the small falls and shallow pools.

she is definitely an explorer and wanted to walk right through the rushing water and loved her first slide down one of the shorter rock falls.

I let her go at the top and her dad caught her at the bottom, she thought it was great!

More to come as soon as I find a USB cable and can download our pictures!

two little words

2009-06-09T16:43:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have to listen to me complain about the minutiae of my day to day life know that I have been dying for Esme to get beyond one syllable words and to start putting words together.
I know I'm a demanding mother with high expectations...but she knows so many words and she repeats them over and over again all the time...why can't she just put two of them together already?

And today (duh-duh-duh-duh, drum roll please) she did!!!
Esme's first two letter phrase "My - Phone"
So I'm thinking maybe we could have waited a little longer...I mean really did that have to be her first declarative statement?
I did feel somewhat redeemed as a parent when after dinner I got her to follow it up with "open - please"
And now I'm living in the constant hope that my world may begin to move on from that broken record like monotony of one single syllable repeated over an over again for what feels like hours at a time all day long.

"more - more - more - more - more - more - more - more - more - more"
"mama - mama - mama - mama - mama - mama - mama - mama - mama"
"key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key - key"
"A-door - A-door - A-door - A-door - A-door - A-door - A-door - A-door - A-door"

See...you're ready for a second word too huh?

The daily show

2009-06-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the quiet spell everyone.
It seems like the drama here never dies down and I've been a bit overwhelmed by a number of things lately.
I've had a sinus infection/infection of some sort (?) for almost a month now that has been kicking my butt...a week and a half of Amoxicilan has finally started to clear my head a little bit and the past week is the first of the last three that I haven't been napping with Esme every day.
Esme seems to be done cutting her one year molars and is settling back into being a happier little girl.
We've started a playgroup that meets at our church every Thursday afternoon and it's growing and starting to be a fun way to meet some other kids (and moms/nannies).
Esme is still learning a couple words a day it seems. Her favorites right now are "knock, knock", "look", "hello" and "Shawn".
Esme seems to have her first crush on Andrew's boss Sean. She talks about him all the time, out of the blue and when she expects to see him. If we walk by the church she says "da-da", "Shaw".
The other day we were headed home and we were discussing who would be at home to meet us when we got there. Esme said "Dude", I said "who else", Esme said "Clare", I said "who else do you think will be at home?" Esme said "Bax" (this is what she calls Sean's dog Baxter). I said "Baxter doesn't live at our house, who does Baxter live with?" With a big grin she immediately said "Shaw".
Esme also told her first joke this last weekend. We were riding back from Mass at our Mission Parish St. James the Less and Esme was sitting in her car seat knocking on her shoe and saying "knock, knock" "knock, knock" I said "who's there?" and Esme said "toe" than started laughing...of course everyone else in the car started laughing even harder so she spent the rest of the trip home knocking on her shoe and saying "knock, knock toe" "knock, knock, toe" and giggling away.

Esme also put her shoes on completely by herself for the first time yesterday. She has been obsessed with taking shoes off and on since she was at least one but yesterday was the first time that in response to hearing we were going bye-bye she picked out two of the same shoes, sat down and put them both on. The best part was that they were totally on the wrong feet. Since I knew she would just be riding in her stroller the whole time I left them that way...we all have to start somewhere right?

I think the only other new news from our house is that Clare cut her paw on a piece of glass over the weekend so she's wearing a big E-collar to keep her from licking her stitches so now every time Esme sees her she says "hat".

Blessings to our friend Anne Lane who was here visiting over the weekend and weathered the chaos of Esme's Saturday night, I've been up too long today without a nap, meltdown happening at exactly the same time Clare cut her paw. It was a long hour or so until we got everyone situated.

Andrew just got a new phone with a much better camera than his old one, so I've attached some of the great pictures he's been taking of Esme, it's nice to have a new photographer around!

A sleeping Esme supported by Patches the nigh-nigh friend
(I'm sure you will not be surprised to her Patches was Esme's Christmas gift
from Sean and sleeps with her every night.)

The main Facebook consensus from this photo was that we should neither keep Esme frozen,
as the box suggests, nor should we ship her anywhere. I think we will heed that advice.
Thank goodness our parenting is a community endeavor!

I have to say that personally this smile coupled with the t-shirt is almost too much!

Learning and some fun pics

2009-05-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

I've been amazed lately by Esme's language acquisition. Every day I hear her say a new word that I didn't even know she knew.
Today when her babysitter Sara (otherwise known as YaYa) was leaving she sad "See you later alligator" to which Esme promptly responded cahc-cahc (obviously crocodile :))

When her Godmother Kit was here she spent the whole day teaching Esme to say "Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty". I just walked into the bathroom the other day in time to hear Esme, shaking a hotel size shampoo bottle, say "shake, shake, shake, boo, boo"

Ya Ya has been working on letters with Esme and Andrew has been working on numbers (my focus is shopping just in case I was sounding delinquent for a moment) so the other day over lunch Andrew said "1" and Esme said "2" (which is her favorite of all numbers), Andrew said "3" and Esme said "4", Andrew said "5" and as my jaw started to drop Esme said "6", Andrew said "7" and Esme said "B"...we'll keep working :)

Another new favorite pastime is cuddling...she'll throw her arm over my shoulder, give me a bear hug, and say "cu".
I'm still waiting for the second syllable to kick in but it is amazing to see her pride when she uses a new word and her joy for learning!

Esme and Ya Ya all ready for their girls night in!

Esme's been very into hat's lately...
here she is all ready to go bye bye with her hat hat

Sara helped me build Esme's new trike and we thought we'd take it for a spin
Now that the rain is gone I'll be sure to get a picture of Esme on her trike.

Andrew and I ready to go out to the Spring Orpheus Club Concert

Ready for her own hot date!
I didn't realize that Esme found my lipstick today...
Not bad for her first try I think, we'll still hold off a few years though.

bubbles

2009-05-11T07:39:00.001-07:00

Esme's been working very hard on blowing bubbles in the bath for months.
Last week she finally got it, boy was she proud!!

The grand finale

2009-05-05T13:00:00.001-07:00

Our trip ended in Arizona with two weeks visiting my sister.
I know you all have heard plenty about Esme's illness while we were there so I just wanted to share some of the actual fun things we did, and pass along some pictures:

We got to see my Dad's sister Aunt Loretta for the first time in a few years and she met Esme (and Cameron) for the first time.
You can also see my dad in this picture, turns out we didn't do such a great job getting pictures of him!

We ate breakfast one morning at the Wild Horse Cafe where Esme was obsessed with the Ozhos

This may have been the end of a long hot day for everyone but boy does Ahma/Grandma look happy!

Esme & Cameron's first baseball game

accompanied by Uncle Art (U-ya) Auntie Melanie (Ah-Ma) Shawn, Becky & Mama
Please note the new Orla Kiely bag, my super exciting $40 Last Chance find!!

One more happy sunshiney baseball picture

On day two of Esme's illness when she actually seemed better and coincidentally the one day that I was sick. Everyone went to the Renaissance Festival, Esme has been in a Elephant phase so here's everyone checking out the "Ella's"

My brother in law expressed his regret that he did not manage to get a picture of me throwing up in one of the festival garbage cans, which is sort of amusing since in the hour and bit I spent inside the festival I think I did manage to hit just about every one they had...I think the world can live without that picture though :)

A dubious Esme getting a foot rub from Auntie Melanie...wait who's been in the stroller all day here?

Here's Esme in her renaissance outfit

We had a great time swimming in Grandpa's pool

The cousins first meeting, Cameron seems a bit more sure than Esme

Esme came around though as she was soon willing to share her chair

All tired out after her first day at the ball park
(if you ask her what they're doing on the field she says 'ball')

This is my very favorite 'save until she's 16 and has a first boyfriend' blackmail photo.
Her little (and by little I mean big) belly is tooo cute!

Okay...I feel a lot of pressure relieved now that you all finally know about this trip, we can move on! Are you all as glad as I am?

The next phase

2009-04-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

I am confident that one thing will soon become clear to all of you and so I'm just going to fess up right off the batt...Esme has four Godmothers!! I've come clean I've said it...there were too many wonderful women in our lives to choose from.
Perhaps it's my own lack of Godparents coupled with all the amazing stand in mothers I've had over the years but, in retrospect I'm as thrilled as I could be that this strong willed young girl will grow up surrounded by such a wonderful, diverse group of role-models! Not that they wouldn't be there anyway but we just wanted to make sure ;)
Personally I also think it's hillarious that she also has 1 Godfather and when I think about him, in my head he is always The Godfather (you know there's this Italian, jersey voice that says it like in the movie)...anyway all this to say that in one short week Esme saw all four of her Godmothers, who incidentally live in four different states pretty much covering the four corners of the country.
You already saw the pictures of Amy (from Chicago) and Sara (from Denver).
Next we went to Emily's ordination to the Priesthood in Louisville, this also incidentally was my first time in Louisville and it was pretty exciting to me to visit a city I've never been to, that doesn't happen to me very often anymore!
Emily, and Esme's fourth Godmother Kit were both at General Seminary in New York while we were there for Andrew's last year. On more than one occasion confused fellow students had to ask Andrew or I exactly how many people lived in our apartment as Kit and Emily pretty much had their own keys and acted as live-in nannies/dog love givers/sanity providers (like the night the three of us did baby yoga with Esme while drinking our chocolate martini's, but that's totally a different story). Kit and Emily were there for most of my labor, Emily kept Francis for the first few weeks we were home, when he was convinced we had brought home a small woodland creature that he should be playing with.
Anyway, we went to Emily's beautiful ordination in Louisville and enjoyed 3 beautiful days playing at the park, relaxing, walking around Emily's neighborhood, eating caramel frosted upside down cupcakes from the pie kitchen (best thing ever and not to be missed if you find yourself in Louisville). Most importantly we finally go to meet Chloe, Emily's dog (who is much better behaved than our two monsters) and Esme and I got to present Emily for her ordination, along with other friends and family and were very proud to be there and support her. Calvary is a lucky church to have her and it was great to see a slice of her life.

From there it was on to Phoenix which definitely requires a post of it's own so more to come tomorrow!
Esme is getting better and better at the slide

Sharing a little laugh

A little dance

A little dip

Esme and Emily after their little dance

Our future with Esme as simply a blur upon the church carpet

Funny little Esme

2009-04-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

A Bubble Crown

I've got the next segment of our travels ready to post I'm just waiting for some pictures from friends as I am almost as delinquent in picture taking as I am in blogging.

So I thought I'd get us through the down time by relaying my favorite new Esme doings.

Often lately Esme will pick up a book go sit down and commence saying "do do do do do do do" as she turns through the pages. (This sometimes make me think perhaps I sound like the grownups on Peanuts when I'm reading to her but it is too cute!)
A few nights ago as we got ready for bed I set Esme down on the bed and said "lets read our nigh nigh books", while I went and turned off the overhead light she grabbed the book we always read first, opened it emphatically in her lap and said Oh-Kay!
We've been practicing counting by starting to count the "three little bears sitting in chairs" when we read Goodnight Moon every night. Every time we get to that page I point to the bears individually and say "One, Two, Three" then Esme points to each of the bears and says "Two, Two, Two".
Sara our babysitter reported that yesterday when they were out for a walk Esme saw a tractor coming toward them from a work site, she proceeded to make kissing noises for the full two minutes it took for the tractor to pass them and turn the corner, this is a love affair I never would have anticipated.

Ever since Esme learned how easy it was to say her Auntie Anna's name (back in January) she has been insistent on repeating that name as often as possible. Anyone with brown hair is Anna, anyone who's name starts with "A" is Anna, when I do something she doesn't like she screams out "Anna" (as if she will rush in and save her). Esme is intent on repeating every word we say and learns 2-3 new words a day, the one word she will not repeat no matter how hard we try? Her name...every time we try, no matter who tries, she insists on calling herself Anna! She even says it with that I know I'm doing what I want, not what you want glimmer in her eye as she looks so proud!

Mmm...Mashed Potatoes!

so much...so much

2009-04-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

We have returned from our adventures and our return was almost as crazy as our adventures themselves. It's been a little tough getting back into work, Easter Church was a bit overwhelming and finally we've had some beautiful weather that we had to get outside and enjoy!
I think I have enough for about 5 blog postings so I'll split everything between a few days and give everyone an update on what we've been up to.
Most importantly Esme IS healthy again...even after my last update there was about four more days of vomiting. Just when I was about to throw up my hands and take her back to the ER it finally stopped. Luckily our babysitter's Mom is a pediatrician so she was talking me through things and reassuring me it would end and there was seemingly no reason for her prolonged vomiting, given the lack of other symptoms I was describing.
The only vestiges left from her long bout of illness is the severe attachment to me she developed while sick. I think I held her literally almost every moment for about four days straight, I've finally recovered from the sore muscles and sheer mental/emotional toll but Esme still has an idea that I need to be around at all times and preferably holding her most of the time, this is totally a new thing for her and I'm looking forward to it being a brief phase.
The other new phase we are experiencing is the terrible twos (already) her favorite word is "no" which she can say with a laugh or with serious conviction. she has also taken to throwing herself toward the ground if she's not getting what she wants. Usually I just gently lay her there and walk away (when we're not in a crowded public area) and that seems to be working pretty well.

So now onto some pictures and narrative from our fun adventures!

Esme's Godmother Aimee came to visit us for the weekend during her spring break, we had a great time hanging out, playing and seeing some Philadelphia sights (like Trader Joes for instance :) )

A few days before we left Esme's Godmother Sara came into town and we all got to have lunch and play a little together, lucky for us Sara, Kathleen and their new baby will be moving to NJ at the end of the summer so we have many more get-togethers to come!

The weekend before our trip Andrew and I got our first night away from Esme, thanks to Steve and Anna, and we went to Washington DC for the night, we had a great time, saw some sights and just relaxed!I think Steve, Anna and Esme may have had more fun than we did!

Andrew and I in front of the reflecting pool and Lincoln Memorial

All is Well

2009-03-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted to give everyone a update on the lives of the weary travellers.
After our wonderful time in Louisville for Emily's beautiful ordination we flew to Phoenix to visit my sister.
Esme must have picked up a bug on the plane because she spent all day Saturday throwing up. She felt a little better on Sunday but started throwing everything up again on Sunday night.
By Monday morning I was worried enough to take her to Urgent Care where they kept her for four hours as she threw up every bit of liquid I could force down her throat. The fun part here is that my sister came to urgent care with us as well since this bug is highly contagious and Esme had gotten 5 out of the 7 adults in the house sick as well.
Since she couldn't produce any urine for Urgent Care to check her dehydration levels I had to take her to the Emergency Room.
Luckily they sent us to a really great hospital on the West Side of the valley where they have a Children's ER called Mendy's Place. The staff were great, the got an IV in Esme's arm which trust me was no small feat (one of our nurses was this small stout Latin American woman who kept saying "strong like bull"). Esme was a serious fighter and the other nurse thought it was hilarious that she could tell Esme was offended by her putting this thing into her arm.
We were only in the ER about three hours while they gave her anti-nausea medicine and fluids. They said she was only mildly dehydrated and that it was good I had caught it early.
The craziest thing is that as the day went on you could see these extremely dry patches of skin develop all over her body... by this morning they're all gone and she's on her way back to her happy self.
Everyone in the house is feeling well again thanks to their own anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea medicine and the best news of all is that little seventh month old Cameron was one of the two people untouched by this plague!

More pictures and much more fun new from our travels soon to come...I just wanted to get everyone an update.

One little poang...so much love

2009-03-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

We'd like you to meet most of Esme's entourage...
from the left: gogo, dolly, baby and (the most recent addition) roxy
apparently everyone is a fan of Word World!

If you can make it there...

2009-03-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

We had a great visit this last weekend to where else but New York, New York!!
Esme and I were lucky enough to stay in our friend's (the Vroon's) apartment where Esme took full advantage of her friend Isaac's baby gear by not only playing with all of his toys (hope we got all the banana out of the toy box Julie :)) but she also took a nap in his crib...let me try that once more just in case anyone didn't catch it the first time...Esme took a N-A-P in a C-R-I-B...I know I could hardly believe it myself (the ups and downs of our sleeping life are a whole other post but I just had to share that very exciting tid-bit!)
Anyway... we started our exciting trip with a new haircut for mom documented below...
Of course our first order of business once in Manhattan was a stroll through Chelsea Market where Esme found the perfect hat to complete her Manhattan look...

Friday night we had a great dinner with Uncle Steve, Auntie Anna, Uncle Nathan, Auntie Veronica and Grandma Bette...I think we all must have been as tired as I felt because there are apparently no pictures to document our lovely meal from my favorite NY takeout spot Spice.
Saturday morning Esme and I walked up to the corner and shared a croissant and OJ from LaBergamot for breakfast before meeting up with Auntie Anna for some shoe shopping and heading off to Central Park where we met up with not only the rest of the fam but the pugs as well.
Esme was in seventh heaven running around the park with Grandma Bette and enjoying her first ice cream bar of the season (well maybe her first ice cream bar ever...)

The running did include frequent trips back to the group to check on the pugs...
We capped off a great day with a meal at our favorite restaurant Cafeteria, Esme has been frequenting this NYC hotspot since before she was born and when she was a baby their loud music made it one of her favorite places to sleep. It must remain one of her favorites as she spent the duration of the meal spinning around the corner of our corner booth like a little top and stacking the three ramekins our friend Anne-Lane's dinner came in as if they were mac and cheese blocks that she was playing with.
Esme and our friend Anne-Lane at dinner...
After an exhausting dinner topped off with blackberry cardamom margaritas (I don't need any of you to remind me I gave up alcohol for lent...this was an occasion, personally I think blackberry cardamom margaritas are an occasion all of their own) We decided to stay one more night in Manhattan and made the great journey back home on Sunday missing father daddy's sunday morning sermon...oh well, there will be many more where that came from :)

As I was parking the car after our return Andrew decided he should style Esme's hair for our Sunday night potluck...I swear I can't leave those two alone for a minute...

I have to throw in one last picture from today of Esme lounging in her new Poang chair...where does she learn this stuff?

granola

2009-03-04T12:25:00.000-08:00

So there is not a ton in the food area I've done lately that I'm really proud of but yesterday I (well Esme and I really) made THE BEST granola!
I made granola for Christmas, to give as gifts, and it was pretty good...at least I heard that people ate it. I made another batch after that and it was edible. I was proud just because I made it, and I forced myself to eat it (also because I made it) but I'll be the first to admit it was not great.
Yesterday's granola however, totally different story!
I'm even going to post the recipe...
I took:
3 cups of oats
1/2 cup of slivered almonds
1/2 cup of raw pecan pieces
1/2 cup of roasted cashew pieces
(all from Trader Joes)
I think I also added almost 1/2 cup of sunflower seeds
obviously you could substitute whatever nuts you like best, these are just what I happened to have.
add 1/3 cup vegetable oil
then use the same measuring cup unrinsed to
add 3/4 cup honey
stir these ingredients together and cook at 300 for 30 minutes stirring or turning or something resembling that every 10 minutes
I used a baking pan that has a little higher lip than most cookie sheets to keep my stirring a little cleaner.
After I pulled them out I put them back in the original bowl and added as many craisins as I thought I wanted.
Then I gave it a stir and left it to cool, I came back to stir it about 3 times over the course of a couple hours...oh and to steal bites but I pretty much left it so that it would clumpy as it cooled.

I'm definitely a fan...now we just need to make more yogurt so I can eat it all up!

Esme was a very good helper, especially where the fallen sunflower seeds were concerned

The finished product

a brief update

2009-03-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

It's been too long.
I realize when I get too busy I forget to have something to say.
And we've been busy, just with normal life.
Trying to get into a nap and bedtime schedule.
This week there were two church events during the week for Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday, which, while wonderful sort of threw a wrench in our works.
Esme is adding words like crazy, her favorite right now is "No" and she has recently learned the trick of throwing herself to the ground on her bottom when she doesn't want to do what I'm requesting...I thought we were still a long way from two but apparently not so far.
Part of our new bedtime routine is teethbrushing and I think she must ask 5-7 times a day for "tee" she loves brushing her teeth (boy did she not get that from her mama :))
Esme just got her own little poang from ikea (it is soo cute) and she loves sitting in her chair with her baby watching Word World (I love it too!)
Here are some pictures of nothing particularly important...just life.

Esme and her "hat hat hat" (always said in a whisper)

Esme and Baby

Andrew and I dressed up for a formal Valentines Day event

A sneak peek at Isla's present (which I will someday mail)

An exhausted mama cuddling her first two babies

sleep

2009-02-16T01:27:00.000-08:00

So far there is only one thing I wish I had done differently with Esme. (I have no doubt this will change in the years to come)

Minutes after she was born the nurse put her in my arms/on my stomach and immediately started nursing. She nursed to sleep that first night just hours after she was born and nursing has been her favorite thing ever since. If I could remember them, I'm sure I could count on one hand the instances in her infanthood when Esme fell asleep without nursing (stroller and car seat rides aside).

Now she HAS TO nurse to sleep every night and for most naps (see stroller, car seat comment above). I lay there lamenting the loss of any time I may have had to myself, as every moment it takes her to fall asleep ticks by v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y.

So when Esme and I came home from Minnesota where I had had a small taste of time to myself I announced that we were beginning a night time routine, only one nap during the day and an early bed time! "Why would we schedule her" Andrew asked "We've never scheduled her?"

"Because otherwise I might die" this was the only clear answer in my mind.

I know I should be loving these quiet moments where my child wants only me...there will be so many where she wants anyone but me (I'm assured by all) but I don't love them, because when you spend 3-4 hours a day just getting your child to sleep the list of things you could be accomplishing with that time becomes huge and un-ignorable.

Like today for instance...with two hours of personal assistant work looming in front of me (keeping me from the sewing projects and yogurt making I really want to be doing) I spent a full hour laying next to a screaming, exhausted child. She finallly slept for 10 minutes, I then spent 30 minutes trying to get out of bed without waking her, failed attempts every time. I then had to give up and realize she would just go without a nap today. This happens at least once a week. On days not as cold as today I will sometimes just haul her into the stroller, find a quick errand to run and pray that I can get her up the stairs and into the building without waking her after she has inevitably fallen asleep on our journey. But somedays I'm just not up for all that. Today was one of them. So two rounds of Word World later (I'm getting awfully sick of can, can, can you build a new word from these letters...) I got my work done...we played and YES!!! Time to begin the bedtime routine!

What I'm most amazed about is how quickly Esme has figured out this routine...we've probably had it in place off and on for two weeks...we've had it down for a total of five nights and we took a two night break in the middle of them when we went to NY. But tonight after eating she announced "ah duh" and promptly said "Bah" (bath)...in the bathtub she announced "ah duh" and I said what should we do next...she sad "teeh" (teeth) we brushed her teeth and went into the bedroom (she still learning lotion which came next) then we came downstairs and tucked in baby and go go she has added the step of giving them nigh nigh kisses, then we go upstairs and read two books.

In the first book they talk about hanging up their towels and Esme always points to where we hung her towel on the door, then they put on their pajamas and Esme points to her pajamas, last thing before turning out the light we read Good Night Moon, this is her favorite because of the "maw-maws" then she kisses bunny good night on the last page and lays down to get nigh-nigh milk.

and at 6:30 I'm cooking my dinner and writing this blog entry.

I love this routine!!!

Now we just have to figure out a naptime routine...any ideas??

Esme and the dude

2009-02-09T15:42:00.000-08:00

Esme has been focusing on trying to find something to call Francis for a little while now.

She can say Clare but can't quite get Francis.

On Friday she heard me keep calling Francis "good boy" and she went with that over the weekend but today she got so excited.

In bed this morning Andrew got exasperated with Francis and said "Du-ude" Esme thought that was the funniest thing she'd ever heard.

She's been walking around the house all day saying "dood" every time she sees Francis.

I think he officially has a new name!

church

2009-02-08T10:24:00.000-08:00

I don't often write much about church but today I was inspired twice in church to read my bible more...that is a rare inspiration for me and I also feel like it's a bit of a rare inspiration for most people to get from an episcopal church (I say this because lately I've noticed all the people carrying their covered bibles to the Presbyterian church I have to pass at the end of our block on my way to our church, without my bible, where no one will have brought their bibles...it's just not an episcopal thing as far as I can tell) Anyway.

Our adult forum this morning was about Paul's teachings/prophesy on the Jews based on Romans 9-11. The woman leading is a professor from Princeton and it was interesting to hear what she had to say about context and language and the way people interpret the bible, it made me think back to classes in college where I used to have to study and write papers about passages. It made me want to remember more of what I've read about the bible and it made me want to understand the wider context better, which would require reading (a great amount of reading I think).

But all of that is nothing compared to how this morning's gospel reading made me want read the bible; were you in church today?

The gospel was Jesus healing a sick woman who immediately gets up to serve all the men in the house. My friend Sara and I turned to each other with thinly veiled looks of skepticism...this is not Jesus like behavior. I could just hear all the men..."What there is no woman in the house to serve us?" But wait...we've got Jesus "Never fear, I'll heal her" and the second she's well she's up and serving all of them? All I could think was this is not the Jesus I know...not the Jesus who is kind to those others despise...the Jesus who hung out with women, the kind of women other men paid to be with...

Somehow I did not remember ever hearing this particular story, I cannot imagine I would have forgotten it or missed the connection.

Anyway it made me think, maybe there are other stories I'm not remember correctly or didn't hear properly, or maybe there's more to the story and I just don't know it because it wasn't part of this morning reading, but if I were reading on my own as well...well.

Now to find the time...

jabber and projects

2009-02-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

I completed a draft that ended up being posted after this posting even though it really is new...so scroll down, I promise it's worth it.

2009-01-30T14:55:00.000-08:00

I've always been very socially awkward about breaking into new communities. I don't know what it is because I'm a very outgoing person, people generally like me, I don't look too funny. I just feel really nervous that I won't know what to say or do, unless I'm in charge or have a very specific role to play I don't feel as comfortable at social events.

So anyway, I was very excited to get an e mail that my favorite local fabric store spool was having their first ever stitch party tonight... "a new monthly get together where we can show & tell about our projects, meet other talented crafters, and party!"

What perfect timing I thought... I've been going into this store since we moved here longing to learn how to sew, I sent (forced) Andrew to go there to buy my christmas present... now I finally have something to show for all my longing... I'll meet people who are even better at what I want to do, cool people I want to be friends with who will immediately accept me because of what my family has dubbed my sewing genius... Okay I may have pinpointed all my problems being socially awkward right in that one sentence.

Of course I was disappointed... I only got to talk to two people (about Esme's adorable sparkly shoes and when I spilled my wine on her baby... boy do I sound more dorky by the moment or what?) The problem of course is that I build these things up in my head... What I need to walk away with is the lesson that I should really stop doing that.

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me...

Okay, so here is some cool inspiration I got while I was there... redemption... redemption...

I thought these bunnies cut out of fabric were so cute...I could do that...

I also loved these bunnies and the circle of fabric with straight lines machine stitched through them...super cute!

jabber and projects

2009-01-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

I've been talking with a few people lately about how Esme has been experimenting with "sentences". I was actually recently talking to my friend Julie whose son Isaac is five days younger than Esme and she was describing his recent jabber as "the experimentation of rhythm and cadence" which I thought was perfect.

Here's a video of Esme doing some experimentation as well as working on those fine motor skills fitting her buckles together on a high chair.

I'm very excited about a few things that I've done this week...so of course I better share :)

I put learn how to make yogurt on my "to do" list with a bit of skepticism at my ability to do so...but I one upped myself I made yogurt and granola this week and I don't think I did too bad for my first yogurt attempt and second granola attempt. The yogurt is less runny than Andrew's always was, which is exactly what I was hoping for and the granola is pretty good; just needs a little more honey (or maple syrup as my sister suggested). All of it is however, edible which is enough for me :)

I also bought some material for two projects I'm going to get done ASAP.

Here's a picture of the beautiful fabric...although I can't share any more details other than to say Cameron and Isla I'm so excited about what's headed your way!!

Wrapping up the Great North

2009-01-22T20:17:00.001-08:00

We came back to the Twin Cities today and I don't have too much to say...other than to wonder why the cold had to follow us here...
But I thought I'd post some pictures as a wrap up to our time there.

Here's one of the outfits I made Esme

Corduroy pants and the little jacket has doggies on it!

I wish you could see this dress better...I'm going to try to post a closer picture

Here's the bodice...a bit better it's got this great curve and was definitely the hardest part to sew.

Esme trying to steal her Babka's beer at one of our favorite places, the Gunflint Tavern

Crazy Kid!

Esme decided she's moving in!

Esme says "That is the biggest bathtub I've ever seen!"

Babka's house is right on Lake Superior...which is pretty big for a bathtub...

Talk to you all again soon!

snowshoeing with Santa Klaus and the Easter Bunny

2009-01-19T17:18:00.000-08:00

I went snow-shoeing with my Mother-in-law today which was beautiful!

about a quarter of the way through our trip I, in characteristic fashion said "How much farther are we going to go? I only ask because I can already feel my calves burning and I would like to be able to walk tomorrow..."

We kept going "Just up to the next bend" and so by the time we finally stopped we decided to swap snowshoes to see if ME's pair was lighter than mine (She had been holding out on me just in case anyone was wondering...they were way lighter).

We were following a well traveled, very packed trail our entire way up the river and so I was shocked when as soon as I took my first snow shoe off my foot went right through the snow almost up to my knee. I honestly thought maybe I'd just hit a funny spot and was equally suprised when the same thing happened with the next foot.

We joked about how deceptive snow can be and as I began heading back the way we had come ME (Mary Ellen, for anyone who doesn't know) went on in the original direction to take a few more pictures, promising to catch up with me.

As I began walking I started thinking about how snow is not the only deceptive thing in the world, my mommy brain got going and I started wondering what other, bigger deceptive things my daughter will have to face.

For some reason the first thing that came to mind were all the blog posts I read this holiday season, almost every mom I knew had one, about whether or not to let their child believe in Santa Klaus and the Easter Bunny...should they believe, for how long, what are the long term ramifications of lying to your child, etc...etc...

Putting those questions in the context of this deceptive snow really got me thinking.

Santa Klaus is in effect very similar to this deceptively deep snow...and yet if I lived my life trying to stay away from all things deceptive for fear that they would hurt me, in one way or another, I never would have had this beautiful experience today.

Becuase someone created this fabulous instruments, snowshoes, I can use something otherwise deceptive to become a thing of beauty, and experience of beauty. ME and I were discussing how, without braving this deception these are areas no one would ever see, there is just no other way to go up a raging river at the bottom of a steep ravine.

So...what will I do about Santa Klaus? Well I think he's sort of like the snow shoes...not to mix the analgy too much. I think he can be used, wisely and carefully, to make an already beautiful holiday a bit more fun...I think Santa Klaus should never be the bearer of any life altering or much desired gifts, I think Santa Klaus should not be widely talked about or praised...but I also don't want Esme being the child who says to another no you can't walk in that snow...Santa Klaus doesn't exist...

I think there is a way to present these joyful childhood experiences while keeping them from being lies...to work in this tradition as a thing that adds to the beauty of the experience.

My little priest in training (poor child)

2009-01-18T18:39:00.000-08:00

I'm still laughing...
today Esme and I went to Babka's church which is just a little different than our church where we go every Sunday.
Everything in the North woods is a bit more laid back and church is no exception...needless to say the procession is two people (still wearing their mukluks), there is no chanting, the gospel was read from the same pulpit as the other readings and the sermon was preached from the very same pulpit (GASP!!)
So today while her Babka was preparing the communion (there's probably some techincal term for this that I just don't know) Esme must have noticed that something was sorely missing from this church experience.
She grabbed a prayer book and opened it about half way so that she could comfortably hold it in her hands...she put it up in front of her face and walked to the front of the church, to the middle of the aisle...all of this while singing mind you.
At this point I thought the book was (in her mind) a hymnal and she was just singing.
As soon as she got to the front she turned, lowered the book a bit, stopped singing, and just held the book there in front of her face.
At this point it hit me...
Esme was chanting the gospel!

This child watches everything...she will be a boat bearer sooner than we think.

not plagarization but rather, recycling...

2009-01-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

I just found this poem on someone elses blog and it feels so North to me that I had to share it.

It made me happy.

Sometimes I feel like the only peace I have these days is the peace of wild things...why not embrace it!

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows

in me and I wake in the night at the least

sound

in fear of what my life and my

children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood

drake

rests in his beauty on the water,

and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with

forethought

of grief. I come into the presence

of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind

stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and

am free.

--Wendell Berry

Willa (the kitty) trying to find peace in a box

(I've tried to explain to her that sometimes I feel driven to the same thing)

Esme and her Babka making gingerbread cookies

Peace of a wild thing illustrated

(Esme made a snow angel next to her Babka)

new slippers and sewing lessons

2009-01-16T17:43:00.000-08:00

Esme got new cozy warm slippers...

cause you need that when it's 25 below.

We're in the Great North Woods, Grand Marais, MN to be exact spending a week with Grandma or Babka as Esme calls her. I'm getting sewing lessons and enjoying a few extra hands to help with Esme while we hibernate in this cold, cold weather.

Here's a sample of what I've been learning. We started where I think all people must start when they learn to sew, making an apron with gathers and a pocket and no pattern (I think we'll stop just over that next hill :)) A typical outing with my mother in law...

Apparently in sewing there is also a lot of ironing

the first few stitches...or preparing for them anyway

Yea! a pocket...isn't this great fabric?

A deer stopped by mid-lesson to snack on the berries out front

The gathers...one of my favorite parts, and a little tricky if I do say so myself!

I'm especially proud of this little box I made with the x in the middle

I am sooo Donna Reed!

Luckily while I'm sewing there are grandma's (and a kitty) to entertain Esme

bath time with Babka

So that's us here in the freezing North...more to come on our adventures where all the women are strong the men are (what are the men?) and the children are above average...isn't that how it goes in Lake Wobegon?

2008-12-20T14:27:00.001-08:00

I've definitely been a delinquent blogger of late, I would like to blame this on many factors

Being the "Mrs. Reverend Ashcroft" (weird) seems to have one or two demands around the holidays
I've been doing a ton of baking
I've been doing some Christmas present making
Esme's been teething and thus not sleeping, thus not allowing mom any baby free time
I've not felt like I've had much to say

So...here's what I have to share:

The other day I made these great peppermint sandwich cookies, another foray into the wild world cooking. I think they came out pretty good for the most part the two big things my insane days of baking taught me are double check for all the ingredients before you begin and roll the dough thinner than you think you need to. I think the second would have made these cookies even better...here's a pictoral of my adventures in peppermint sandwich cookies...

Bake the cookies (sugar cookies)

melt chocolate chips and add peppermint extract

sandwich the chocolate between two cookies

crush the candy canes (definitely a good stress reliever)

Ta-Da

My other big project, that I can share right now is that I decorated my house, I'm quite proud becuase I made the wreaths myself which is definitely a big accomplishment. My sister directed me to Martha Stewarts website for an idea of how to hang them on my front door. This was my favorite part as she says something along the lines of "use your u clips to..." then "nail three holes in the door..."
Not only do I have no clue what a u clip is I'm thinking my landlord would not be a fan of three holes nailed in my front door...needless to say mine is not quite as pretty as Martha Stewart's but I think I still did a pretty damn good job!

No blog post would be complete without a few pictures of Esme...here she is adoring and kissing the animals at the churches creche' fifty monopoly bucks if you can guess who dressed Esme this morning :)

Please Touch Museum

2008-12-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

On Monday we went on a field trip to the Please Touch Museum.

It's been a fixture here in Philadelphia for a long time and just this year they relocated to a much bigger space in an old mansion.

Monday was Grandma's last day here so we wanted to end her visit with a bang and I think this was a great way to do it!

Esme was terrified of the mooing Cow in one area of the Museum

(I'm not sure why the eggs were under the cow...maybe that's why she was afraid?)
I mean really, what kind of cow lays eggs? Run away, run away!

Also not a huge fan of the slide...we may need to visit more parks

Her very favorite thing was the mirror area of the Alice in Wonderland section...she had to kiss the cute baby in every mirror and we kept having to chase her back to that section and retrieve her. :)

It must be really tough to be so cute that you can't leave yourself alone

Esme's other favorite things were...

The Carousel (she got two rides, one with mommy and daddy)

Driving the cars

We had a great time and I look forward to going back often as Esme gets older and can interact more with all the exhibits.

There were many wonderful things about Grandma's visit but one of my personal favorites is that she babysat one Friday so that Andrew and I could go out to dinner for my birthday, here we are looking like adults rather than parents:

All in a Weekend

2008-11-24T08:29:00.000-08:00

We had a big weekend...well maybe just a big day Sunday that spilled out into the weekend.

Andrew was ordained as a priest on Sunday...I'm still not sure exactly how I feel about that, it's exciting and big and it's taken 8 years of discernment and three seminaries in three states and time as a carpenter...and...and...and. Mostly I just feel like it's about time and I know its the right job/calling/ thing for him to be doing. I feel good about his being a priest...there is this sense though, that there's something else I'm supposed to be feeling about it. But I don't so...there we go.

After the huge almost 2 hour ordination service there was a big reception at church and then, since the majority of our nearest and dearest were in town we decided to celebrate Esme's first birthday a week early. That was truly the fun part of the day.

I got up early to make Ice Cream Cupcakes...i know they don't look like much but they were a big hit.

Our friends Julie & Daron were here from New York with their son Isaac who was born just 5 days after Esme on my birthday, Andrew's mom helped me make birthday crowns for Esme and Isaac...we sang happy birthday to both of them and they each got a special strawberry ice cream cupcake. Esme was much less shy about pushing her face right into hers but we figured this was just the practice run for Isaac anyway!

There are some more pictures coming...they are what I've been waiting for, but I can't wait any longer (Emily :)) You can see Isaac's crown in this picture. Andrew's mom made these great crowns for the kids (I'm much better at the vision than the execution so thank goodness she was here) Anyway, Esme hated hers but Isaac actually left his on so at least you can see one.

We had a great party and I can hardly believe that just a year ago I hadn't even met this little girl that has become my whole world!!

2008-11-15T13:26:00.000-08:00

So today Esme and I were getting ready to leave the house to go run errands.

I went to the closet to get my coat and when I came back Esme was standing at the door with her new strawberry hat on inside out.

The whole image was so hilarious...that she knew we were leaving...that she thought to get her hat and that she put it on herself, something she's never done.

I ran for the camera and was able to sort of catch it.

Thanks Grandma for the first hat Esme likes!!

I also had to take a picture of her outfit today...I think it's cute. Someone gave us this little outfit, it's a fur collared, leopard print lined vest and the jeans have leopard print on the bottom too. I do admit that I think the jeans are a bit over the top and she'll probably never wear them again.

But overall I thought it was too cute with her little esme star onesie that jess made her.

Andrew hates it but maybe that just makes me think it's even cuter :)

So here are the promised pictures of the goat...the step up is a little high which is why Esme ends up on her knees...the next platform actually holding the goat statue is also at an angle which makes walking while touching the goat a dangerous (and nearly irresistable) proposal...

Last but not least here's how Esme helps with dinner at the end of the day:

Fall walk

2008-11-11T14:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Esme, Francis, Clare and I went for a long walk.

It was such a beautiful CRISP fall day and the dogs needed some exercise so i couldn't resist. We walked down to the river and followed this great path the city made next to the railroad tracks.

As a sleeping Esme can be rather quiet company I spent a lot of the walk imagining Francis and Clare's inner monologues. I think the first thing you need to know are what Francis and Clare's voices sound like, this has already been decided in our household of long ago.

Francis sounds like that really stupid wrestler you knew in high school...the one who was trying to take as many shop and gym classes as possible every year. This is particularly appropriate as Francis' neck is bigger than his head so he sort of looks like a wrestler as well.

Clare I think would sound like Glinda the good witch from the Wizard of Oz. A bit high and breathy but not totally annoying, just sort of distracted or otherworldly. I also imagine that she almost always talks in full sentences...except when she's acting puppyish inside with Francis, then I think she forgets...but otherwise very proper full sentences all the way.

So the middle portion of our walk, where we were near the grass, river and foliage I think went something like this:

Clare (upon almost finding a perfect place to poop, and believe me this is a production): Oh this is a lovely spot (sniff, sniff, sniff) with the water so close and such soft green grass, I could relieve myself here, I'll just slowly lower mysel..ah excuse me! who else has been here? I smell something...let me just follow that and oh the clanging (as she notices something above clanging on the flag pole) Why this will not do at all, just won't do, how can a girl get comfortable in these surroundings, and now there are probably people watching! carry on, carry on!

Francis (as we carry on): A squirrel...a squirrel I smell a squirrel...oh wait a bird I like birds, almost like a squirrel...I'll chase it mom I'll chase it...just let me go I think I can catch this one -- abirdasquirrelabird...I'll get itI'll get it!

Clare (as I drag Francis away from the bird): ah such a lovely smelling friend to urinate here, I must invite them over for rawhide...truly lovely. I must meet all of these dogs, so little time!

Francis (a bit later): Asquirrelasquirrela...leaf? fun a leaf, I'll pretend it's a squirrel, it runs just like a squirrel, come on let's go...get the leafaleafasquirrel, I mean a leaf!!!!

Esme's inner monologue I imagine to be even simpler as we walk:

"ah...mommy makes the best pillow"

After exhausting the dogs, Esme and I went back out to the goat. The man who plays his guitar in the park invited Esme to strum the strings and then to play the back like a drum. It was too cute, you could see she really wanted to, but just wasn't sure. She would sort of hit at it and back away quickly.

Today was also her first time wearing mittens which was hillarious. A little boy shared his matchbox cars and she could not figure out how to hold on to them wearing the mittens, dexterity I think will take some practice!

When we got home I had to put in a load of laundry and in my haste to get it started I left the gate at the bottom of the stairs open...I came out of kitchen and minute later (literally) and could not see Esme anywhere...after a panicked moment I ran up the stairs to find her playing with her upstairs toys in the hallway.

Andrew took a video of her at work today to show just how that happened:

(and yes...that is a pretzel in her hand, you never know when you need a quick snack while climbing)

The Recipe

2008-11-10T09:42:00.000-08:00

Melissa asked me to post the recipe for the Shephards Pie I made...which is such a compliment.
And I figured I would do it...on one condition.
Please please please...anyone who reads this, comment on the post with your favorite recipe.
I really am trying to learn to cook for my family and the hardest part is to think of what to cook.
Please just give me your easiest...most used...favorite...whatever recipe.
Then they'll all be here for anyone who wants to grab one!

This will get us started
Shephards Pie:
Here is how to make Shepherds Pie for 8.

2lbs ground beef
1lb. Ground Lamb (Fresh not frozen, if you can find it).
Beef or Chicken Stock
5-6 lbs potatoes (Russets or Yukon Gold).
Two large sweet Yellow onion peeled and chopped
5 cloves Garlic
5-6 good shakes of Worcestershire Sauce
1-2 cups of Red Wine (a relatively heavy red- Cabernet or some blend)
1 small can Tomato Paste
Italian seasoning

Directions:
Mix together the beef and lamb and then brown it (by adding two tablespoons of olive oil to pan, heating over medium heat until oil is hot then putting beef/lamb mixture in. You might need to do this in several lots depending on the size of pan-if you “crowd” the meat it will tend to steam rather then brown nicely). Stir regularly as it browns so all of meat gets brown and then use a colander or a mesh filter to get rid of all the fat.
Start water boiling to cook potatoes
Clean out pan and add another two tablespoons of oil, heat as before using medium heat and when hot add the chopped onion. Cook with stirring until onion is soft and transparent but not brown. Then add 5-6 cloves of pealed garlic which you have chopped quite fine. Cook for another two minutes then add filtered, browned beef/lamb mixture back into pan with onions and garlic.
Add one and a half cups of wine, one cup of beef or chicken stock, two tablespoon of Tomato paste and a few good shakes of Italian Seasoning or other spices that you fancy oregano, thyme, sage etc.
Cook for about 15 mins adding more wine or water if it seems to be getting dry. You can let it simmer for as long as you need (for me this part was like 45 min. while I got the potatoes ready and cooked)
Season meat to taste with salt and pepper.
Meanwhile peel the potatoes and slice into slices about a quarter of an inch thick. Put into large sauce pan, (if you haven't already, fill pan with water add a good big pinch of salt and bring to boil.)
Let simmer for about 25 mins until potatoes are nice and soft. Filter off water using colander, return potatoes to pan and mash. Add 2 tablespoons of butter, mix in then add some warmed milk, mixing until potatoes are smooth and moist. add salt and pepper to taste.
To assemble Put cooked beef mixture in bottom of oven proof casserole dish. Spoon mashed potatoes on top and using back of a fork cover evenly the whole dish with the potato mixture.

Cook at 350 in oven for 20-30 mins then take out and sprinkle very sharp, white grated cheddar cheese on top. Return to oven; adjust shelf so top of shepherds pie is about an inch and a half from element. Broil until cheese is melted, bubbly and nicely browned.
After this step I added tomatos on top before serving...another variation is to add carrots and or peas in with the beef mixtures as it's simmering.

Take out, serve immediately or let cool and then cover with foil and keep in fridge overnight. Take out from fridge one and a half hours before wanting to serve it. Heat oven to 350 put shepherds pie in and reheat until hot all the way through (about 50 minutes).

We ate this for over a week and it still tasted great!!!
Thanks Ernie for such a great recipe!

Don't forget to add your own favorite recipe by using the comment button below...thanks!

A day in the life

2008-11-08T12:22:00.000-08:00

I had to post this video because I think it's hilarious.
Ever since I changed computers I've had a bunch of video problems. I'm sorry it's sideways but I can't figure out how to turn it. I thought it was so funny that I had to post it anyway.
The first funny thing is that the video is taken at the area of the park closest to us where all the parents and kids congregate. Everyone says things like I'll meet you at "the goat" it is called that becuase it is a bronze statue of a goat...there is seriously almost nothing kid friendly about the location. I'll have to take a picture of it for a future post. It is actually probably kid hazardous more than anything...
So this is Esme playing at the goat and I think the video pretty clearly illustrates a number of the joys of a "hardened city childhood" ;) enjoy!

One more proud moment

2008-11-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that last Friday night I made dinner for some guests we were having over.

I know how silly this sounds but I made probably the most complicated thing I've ever cooked, Shepherds Pie (I swear it's harder than it sounds).

After a few hours in the kitchen...cutting, sauteeing, mashing and baking

forcing an exhausted Esme to cry herself to sleep

and about four phone calls to Andrew's dad

Dinner was finally served...I had to take a picture of the final result and I was so proud when everyone asked for seconds!!!

YEA!

Halloween and other fun

2008-11-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

As usual time has flown by since my last post.

Not too many new happenings here. Here's a video of some recent talking:

Esme is becoming more and more social if that is possible. Anywhere we go she befriends total strangers, waving hi, sometimes even saying hi, grabbing hands, offering food, she is impossible to keep in even ten places during church on Sunday. She has become the unofficial greeter and the ushers have welcomed her into their ranks (some of them clearly begrudgingly as they almost trip over her every now and then).

I do have to give her lots of credit for her ability to survive through an hour and a half church service sometimes twice a week. She plays, walks around, sings with the choir, sometimes tries to talk (usually when her daddy is talking). Luckily she is rarely truly loud and does fairly appropriate things to entertain herself the whole time.

We made two great trips to the suburbs in the last two weeks. During the first someone told us about a church rummage sale!

I found a great little piano (just the kind of toy I didn't want to buy her) it's plasticy and plays songs in that funny kid sound...but she loves it...she could not leave it alone and since we got it she's been stretching her little fingers up to every real piano we come near, pounding on the keys and when she plays her piano at home she sings along and dances. The best part is that it was only five dollars so I really didn't feel like I was selling out too much.

Last week we went to a consignment store and I got a couple sweaters and a long sleeved shirt that actually fit me...a bonus as this weather drops below 50 and my clothes are all about two sizes too big. I also found Esme the cutest little yellow sweater that looks like it was knit by your grandma's grandma...it was two bucks, yeah consignment!!

We're kicking into high gear to prepare for Andrew's ordination on November 23rd...my favorite part is that Andrew will be going on retreat for three days the week before, anyone want a dog or two for a few days? I think his boss must think I'm superwoman or something...three days alone with two dogs (high energy dogs did I mention) and a baby (let me edit that as well...indefatigable toddler)?

I forgot to mention Esme was a flower fairy for Halloween...I've attached some pictures. Thanks to Grandma Mary Ellen for the flower hat and Auntie Melanie for the tutu and adorable onesie she got tons of compliments!

crafty

2008-10-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

So I've always had all these friends and family who do amazing crafty things...Esme's Aunt Anna and Grandma Mary Ellen knit her beautiful amazing sweaters, Esme's Auntie Melanie made her these shoes that get more compliments than the rest of her wardrobe combined (and trust me that's saying a lot), My childhood friend Sara has alwas been an amazing artist, Jess makes supercute onesies...I'm surrounded.

I've always managed to not have time to be crafty myself...you know I've been "so busy with my career" :) I told myself when we moved here that I would find ways to bring some creativity to our house and I'm very proud of myself because I actually have.

Below you will find some pictures as proof of my newfound craftiness:

I created this wall of pictures in the living room...personally I think the crookedness is part of the charm plus

it's fun to finally feel surrounded by friends and family

Every move for us results in way too much time at Ikea...recently they had these simple wooden frames that you could stretch fabric over...

I made one for the bathroom and two for Esme's room

This last project has to be my favorite. I painted one wall between the kitchen and dining room with chalkboard paint and created a calendar, a to do list, a grocery list...esme can draw on the bottom and we're going to put a prayer on the top.

This one makes me proud!!

politics (a rare topic for me)

2008-10-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

so I watched a half hour of the presidential debate last night. and I was struck by a few things.
I thought it was odd how much McCain was blinking...then Andrew pointed out that he looked nervous and I realized people do tend to blink a lot when their nervous. It seemed like he was trying hard to be on the offense and that seemed to keep him nervous (at least for the first half hour). Hopefully (for his sake) he got a little more relaxed as things went on.
That's one thing I always notice about Obama, he seems relaxed in any environment.

The next thing that struck me was how frustrated I was by being told that "The American Dream" is to own a home. There was only a brief period a few years ago where I really wanted to own a home and I quickly realized that given my lifestyle that will probably just not happen. I don't think I'm any less of an American for not owning a home and I don't feel my dreams are not being realized because of it.
I also feel frustrated that no one is placing any blame for this financial crisis on the every man. I understand where things started and the role that Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, the oil companies, etc...play in the crisis. BUT I really think most of us (and my bank account will tell a horrific tale) are at fault for overspending, misusing credit, not reading fine print, not being accountable.
I sat there thinking last night that I would happily vote for someone who would risk pissing off the American People by actually telling us that we do deserve some of the blame. And that we better shape up and get our affairs in order. Well they might need to stand for a few other things as well but I think that sort of truth telling would be a great start!`

I get nervous writing things like this because there is so much depth of emotion and thought and feeling that everyone puts into their beliefs and there's no way I could summarize everything I think in a simple blog post...these thoughts are definitely greatly simplified and just observations...I am curious about others observations from the debate if you watched, I'd love to know what others made of my observations or what your own were. Not to start our own debate or anything just to put some thoughts out there in a safe environment.

sadness

2008-10-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

We've had a pretty devastating day here at our house.

Francis attacked a dog at the dog park this morning.
Any of you who know Francis know how far he's come since we've had him.
He is becoming such a good dog, he's calmed down a ton, he's accepted that Esme is not some small woodland creature we brought home to torture him.
We've been going for runs four mornings a week and while my sister was here we went to the dog park quite often.
Francis has not been above mania in the past but has never attempted to bite anyone dog or human, he'd even been playing happily with this puppy at the park today when out of nowhere he just attacked.
The dog was squealing and I think that sort of set Francis off (which does not justify or excuse the behavior in any way, Francis is completely at fault here). I was not strong enough to get Francis off the other dog and the really hard part was getting his jaws pried apart.
It felt like such a nightmare as it was happening and continues to feel like a bad dream as it's played out throughout the day.
Luckily the other dog is okay. He had ten puncture wounds and required 8 stitches. My hands and one arm are covered in bites and scratches, my knees are rubbed raw.
The worst part (well it's not really the worst part but you know...) is that I feel like I've failed Francis. We've tried so hard to give him a happy home and enough exercise and well you know everything...we've tried and it was finally starting to seem like it was paying off. I'm just not sure where I went wrong.
Maybe we will finally have to get more professional training for him...we can't just keep him inside forever but for the first time I'm afraid to take him outside.
Life around here is far too far from dull...please say a prayer for Francis...and us. I know there's a good dog somewhere in there.

about time for an update

2008-10-04T05:18:00.000-07:00

Esme decides that amazingly enough there may be something better than

Cheerios in the world...something anyone would surely climb inside the cupboard for!

Fruit Loops!!!

We are finally settled here in the city of brotherly love!

There's been a lot going on with our little family, so much that I hadn't realized it's been almost a month since my last posting, Wow!

I'm working at Starbucks four mornings a week which seems to be going really well. I like everyone I work with and I'm getting the hang of working behind the counter again. I think the team and the customers are surviving on the mornings I'm in charge and every shift gets a little bit better.

Esme visits mama's work

I get up before work to take the dogs for a run around the square which seems to help their energy level (and mine for the most part I think) We also have a dog park just seven blocks west and right at the end of our street we're trying to take them there 3-4 times a week since that seems to help as well.

I'm also working as a personal assistant to our landlord which is a job I can do while I have Esme with me...I think I'll be working about 10 hours a week for him, it's definitely interesting to be accomplishing things for someone else while feeling like your still not getting all your own things done. I keep telling myself that as soon as we get a routine we'll be okay.

My sister was here for the past two weeks and did a great job getting us settled into a routine...if only we could have kept her. She had Esme napping every morning, helped me get the last of our things settled in the house, helped exercise the dogs, walked miles and miles around the city with us!

While Mel was here we went up to our brother's house to celebrate our sister-in-laws birthday with a barbecue; the highlight of which was my brother burning the paint off his new grill! My brother, sister, Esme and I also took the dogs to the Carnivale of the Dogs in Rittenhouse Square where Francis actually proved to be better than Clare at the agility course (mostly due to his lack of fear rather than any actual skill). We also got caricatures of the dogs, they had artists there doing them for free and that was really fun!

The Caricatures

My sister also spent lots of time teaching Esme new words and other fun things. Esme's vocabulary consists primarily of:

saying "Uh-Oh" anytime: anyone drops anything, she drops anything, she throws something, she feeds the dogs, the dogs do something bad.
Her other favorite word is "Doggy" she actually says it quite clearly and even identified a doggy in a commercial on tv the other day. Every walk we take she points out every doggy we see and at the dog park is quite proud to point out her doggies.
"Hi-i" is one of her new words. She is definitely selective about who she will actually say hi-i to but she greets us every morning with it and is very proud when she does say it to strangers.
she also sometimes says "dow" to mean I want off your lap or off the bed or out of the stroller.
The other thing we hear quite frequently is "Ah-Duh" this means all done and is invoked at the end of eating, at the end of a diaper change, when she's done playing with something, when she's thrown something and she knows this time I won't give it back.

Our frequent trips to Ikea as we were settling in here resulted in a new addition to our doggish household; Esme's favorite new friend "Go-Go" he is a golden lab (STUFFED) that she hugs fervently and loves to nap with. When she's doing something she shouldn't we tell her go find "Go-Go", she'll toddle over to wherever she left him, hug him and drag him by the paw wherever she goes next. Thank goodness he's much more compliant than Francis or Clare.

This brings me to the most important news. Esme has been walking for about two and half weeks now. She can walk from one end of the house to the other unassisted and is even teaching herself to climb stairs (which is of course discouraged by both her fearful parents). A favorite pastime is opening and closing anything; mostly doors but the dog gates, drawers, and the refrigerator will also do in a pinch.

This video is Esme and Go-Go on one of the first days she was walking!

I think that gets us pretty much caught up!

She Sleeps

2008-09-10T05:17:00.001-07:00

And I'm making the most of it!
This is a new thing in our household; Esme has been taking naps!!! One or two a day, it's true that miracles never cease. I've even gotten her to sleep 4 or 5 times in her swing.
Just when you think life can't get any better your daughter takes a nap and you can actually get an hour worth of boxes unpacked, without her helping by putting things back in the box as you take them out!

Life is good here.

So moving to Philly has been an adventure, we haven't done as much exploring as I would hope, although Esme and I did do some shopping for vegetables at the Reading Terminal Market and some food shopping at Trader Joe's last week, that was a fun day. We also explored Ikea where I dreamed about all the fun things I wished I could buy for Esme's room.
Today's assignment, and we do choose to accept it, is finding a couple rugs. My goal is to alleviate this fear I have that years from now some doctor is going to say "Yes, her learning disability is from hitting her head too many times on a hardwood floor. Does your home have hardwood floors?"

Mostly we've been in the house unpacking and working on navigating the treacherous boxes and moving dogs. It turns out that the dogs are the perfect height for a baby who is learning to walk, there is just one consistently unforeseen (by Esme) problem...they move, without any warning and often quickly. Unfortunately Esme has been toppled many a time by an excited mutt who heard something they couldn't resist investigating.

I was wishing I had some sort of "Go, go, gadget" built in camera yesterday. Andrew peeked his head in the door to grab the mailbox key and then went back out to retrieve the mail. The dogs, with Esme right behind, immediately rushed to the door. Francis layed down, nose practically touching the door every nerve alert. Clare stood at attention right next to him and Esme stood just behind them both, balancing on Clare, all of them quietly, miraculously, waiting for Andrew to come back. As cute as it was instead of grabbing the camera I had to break it up knowing the second Andrew opened that door pandemonium would break loose and Esme would be flat on her back in the midst of it. And again that doctors voice in my head...

I think I may have mentioned previously, Esme learned a while ago that just because we lay down at night does not mean you have to stay laying down. Her new thing when going to bed is to nurse for a few minutes then roll over and begin exploring everything she can find on the bed...the headboard...crawling over me and Andrew. Then she'll remember the nursing and crawl back toward me. Once she's moving though she doesn't want to give that up to lie back down and nurse. She tries to nurse while still on all fours. We've taken to calling this "drive thru". Esme has become such a fan that I've started telling her I am not a "McMama", this establishment is full service only.
The other new thing is that Esme has finally put to use some of the signs we've been working on for months. She just started using "all done" and a bit more reticently "milk" (she'd rather rock and pant/fuss to tell me she wants to nurse but we're working on that). There is only on problem with the use of the all done sign. For the last 3-4 days she will take 2-5 bites of any meal and then tell me "all done". Sometimes when I walk away she will start to fuss and I can tell she was just trying it out...but sometimes she does want to go play instead and then she wants to eat again in 10 or 15 minutes. I guess I'll have to start focusing more energy on the "eat" sign and getting her to tell me when she wants to eat so that I'm not interrupting something more interesting :) Ah the busy life of a 9 month old!
On to other things in our life, I think Andrew is enjoying his new job. He's working a ton; doing things I think he mostly enjoys. He preached his first sermon and got really good feedback; he even got scheduled to preach again this Sunday just two weeks after the first one which we all take as a good sign. He chants the gospel every Sunday but so far has done a great job with it, we are meeting lots of people ( I just wish I was better at remembering names). I'm supposed to be starting a Mom's group, I'll begin working on that soon. I also want to either start or join some sort of laid back book club. Something without kids there...I'm going to work on that as well! I can't remember the last time I read a book, definitely before Esme was born (that's not good I think).

Sorry for the lack of pictures this time. I'll get back on track with that, I'd been having all these thoughts and I wanted to make the most of my chance to get some of them down!

2008-08-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

We're swimming through boxes in the Ashcroft household these days.
We've had a very exciting couple of weeks...

Two weekends ago Esme, Clare and I had a girls weekend out visiting Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary. Clare got to meet Ryan and Desiree's new puppy Rocco and they had a great time wrestling and running themselves ragged. Every now and then Rocco would mistake a crawling Esme for a new puppy friend, she definitely did not appreciate him throwing himself on her back in an invitation to play.an exhausted Rocco rests under the porch

Soon after we got home from Mike and Mary's my friend from high school, Chanda, came to visit with her sister Kayla and 2 year old daughter Lucy. Thursday night Andrew and I babysat Lucy so Chanda and Kayla could go see Spamalot. We are now sure we will be waiting a few years before adding to our family. Two kids less than two is at least one too many. Lucy has been very into babies lately, lucky for mom who is due to have their second daughter in October, so she was super excited to help with and hold Esme as often as possible, thankfully Esme is resilient and patient. We all had a great time and it was really fun to reconnect with old friends.

Lucy helps with Esme

This past weekend we went to church for our last Sunday at St. Mary's Times Square and then we walked up to Central Park and had a picnic with Aunt Veronica. After that we had a ton of fun at FAO Schwartz trying on hats and ended the day with a barbeque on campus with some new friends Greg, Katherine, their daughter Gracie and their son Andrew who was born just three days after Esme. Esme greeted him by crawling over and pushing him right onto his back. After that it took him about an hour to decide that Esme was okay to play with. His parents were amazed as they claimed Andrew was usually the little bully...way to go Esme, Isaac has taught you well! The best part of our day on Sunday was this push toy they had in the nursery at church, Esme got up behind it and just cruised all over the nursery without any help...there is video to come as soon as we work out the technical difficulties with my new computer.

Esme as bear & monkey at FAO Schwartz courtesy of Aunt Veronica's IPhone

Now we are settled into the business of serious packing. The dogs are nervous, Esme is into everything, including the boxes and despite ourselves we seem to be making progress. I think we are more than halfway done with almost every room...we're definitely at that chaos point and we're getting down to the little stuff that you have no idea where to pack. You know that point where you think you're almost there but really there's way more left than you're prepared to admit? That's where we're at...Thank goodness for our little helper Esme, she keeps us all on track!

The most helpful packer

2008-08-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of my last week at work.
What a weird feeling. It really has been such a journey.
For anyone who doesn't know; I've worked for Starbucks for over 11 years. I started as a barista in college and before I knew it I had a career, I'd worked my way up to being a District Manager. I've always been very passionate about what I do and Starbucks was my life. I never imagined wanting to change anything but I'm sure you can all see what happens next.
My daughter was born and all of sudden work didn't seem so crucial. Spending 70 hours a week worrying about coffee just didn't have the importance it used to. (Okay, my job is a little more than that and I do love the people I work with and for but...work is work)
That's actually where the real journey began. I've spent the last eight months rather tortured about 'throwing away' all I'd worked so hard to acheive vs. how important I felt it was to not miss seeing and nuturing my daughter as she grows up.
Don't get me wrong...the last three months that she's been in daycare have been awesome. To come home and actually have an hour or even 20 minutes to get something accomplished before we pick her up is a Godsend, but...to look back a year from now and know I missed out on so much was more than I could bear.
As usual God managed to find an unexpected way to answer my prayer. We've been living in NYC where my husband is a student and we were all set to stay here for him to do one more year of graduate school. Then a church in Philadelphia came along and offered him the job we weren't looking for. Problem is, it seems like the perfect job for our family and means I can work part time and be at home almost full time with my daughter.
So now I'm at the beginning of the end of so much...
*my career
*life in the big city
*my identity as a 'working mother'
*my identity as a 'career woman'
It's been really eye opening to realize how tied I am to these identities, and trust me I think this is just the beginning.
I sometimes feel almost embarrassed to tell people I'm stepping down (way down) to work part time in a store and raise my daughter. I often feel sure they think I just couldn't cut it and am looking for an excuse for leaving my job.
Those are the moments I have to remind myself of the magnet on my refrigerator I bought just after my daughter was born "remember what's important".
And in the course of spending time on what's important there is so much new
*becoming a priest's wife
*being a full time mom
*focusing on how to contribute to and invite people into community
*figuring out who I am when my identity is not defined by my job
I know this last one is a little tricky now that my identity is "Esme's mom". I'm sure that will work itself out like most things do, at least it's a good sign I'm thinking about having my own identity.
So this is where we're at. The beginning of the next part.
I have these dreams of cooking (please don't laugh), gardening, taking long walks with Esme and the dogs, getting a bike and one of those baby seats that go between the handle bars and riding to the Farmer's Market, making soup every week for the soup kitchen, meeting other moms, having friends, taking swimming lessons with Esme, finding a baby gymboree sort of class for her, working toward my ultimate dream of opening a baby store.
Perhaps we'll do these one thing at a time.
But first the packing and the settling, I think I need a new magnet for this stage.
"This to shall pass!"

2008-08-04T15:46:00.001-07:00

A new week which means new adventures here in our household.

This weeks feats of amazement are:
waving hello (i think)
crawling everywhere, for real
yesterday Esme used her own version of sign language to tell me she wanted more food at dinner
today I went in when Esme cried during her nap to find her sitting up straight in bed crying at me, this would not be a problem if Esme would sleep somewhere other than our (very high off the ground) bed.
It really is the beginning of the end.

This afternoon Andrew came home to a floor littered with dog and baby toys plus the books and photo albums Esme had pulled off the shelves. "Why are you letting the dogs chew on these things." He says.

I'm thinking life was easy when it was just the dogs pulling things off the shelves. And when it was the dogs chewing on things.

Andrew is in his last week of CPE this week. He was on call over the weekend and was paged 11 times. Luckily he only had to go in twice (both at about 10pm). First to help some people who wanted a prayer book and the second time to help some patients who had been waiting in the ER for 13 hours.
Thank God it's almost over!

I have two more weeks of work left, then it's pack,pack,pack...

everyday life

2008-07-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

Esme is almost 8 months today and very much in the throes of teething.
If we couldn't tell by the melodramatic meltdowns that happen at the drop of a hat the excessive drooling would definitely give her away.
This weeks favorite interests are pulling herself up onto everything that stays in one place long enough; and cruising all around the living from couch to ottoman to bookshelf etc...
Favorite noises this week are dadadada, mamamama and a new one fafafafa.
We've also had a lot of fun this week playing with Isaac, born 5 days after Esme but already head and shoulders taller and beginning to be louder as well!
I posted a video of them playing with Francis below.
This is the first time in months we've been home all weekend and Esme managed a nearly two hour nap today while Andrew and I began packing up the study.
Esme also got her first taste of chocolate pudding today, thanks to daddy. Boy was it fun to watch those legs kick, she could not get enough!